It being the week of Baselworld, Baselworld stories are running hot and heavy, and there is still plenty more to come. Daily my inbox overfloweth with new fake Rolex watches and new brands urgently requesting coverage. And cover them we will, even when the vastly expensive exhibition stands have been dismantled for another year. 

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But by way of a weekend diversion, some readers might be interested in a follow up conversation I have had with Wayne, the all-knowing philosophical carpet fitter from Australia. He wanted to buy Rolex Replica Yachtmaster watches that shows the world he is doing well, insisting on a Rolex with ‘English numerals’. My suggestion was a Rolex Datejust II Rhodium Blue 116334 ‘G’.

He is now in receipt of said Rolex, but is he happy? No he is not. It was Domo, a fellow Australian, who straightaway spotted the problem. ‘Wait till he sees half of the numbers are upside down’. What follows is the ensuing Skype conversation I had with him two days ago:

Me: So the Rolex has arrived, how do you like it?

W: Well, it’s a Rolex and all but there’s a fundamental problem.

Me: A problem, really? What?

W: I don’t know if they’re taking the piss because I’m Australian but half the numbers are upside down.

Me: I don’t think they’re taking the piss out of Australians, it’s a new design feature.

W: Well what’s wrong with the old design feature that put numbers the right way up?

Me: I showed you a nice big picture of it before you bought it, you didn’t mention it.

W: That’s because I didn’t see it, I expected it all to be normal, like a Rolex should be.

Me: I think they just wanted to do something different, I like it.

W: Well someone in Rolex has been reading the Art of War.

Me: The Art of War?

W: Don’t tell me you haven’t read the Art of War by Sun Tzi? Jeez, I thought you were the literate one. All war is the art of deception. Rolex has deceived me into thinking their numerals would be the right way up, because that’s how they’ve done it for the last hundred years. It’s like the Muslim terrorists….

Me: What? How do they come into it?

W: They’re not studying the Koran, they’re studying the Art of War. When we are doing something we must appear like we are doing nothing. When we are weak we must appear that we are strong. Rolex should recruit a few of them, they’re experts.

Me: I don’t’ think Rolex wants to be viewed as a terrorist organization, I think they are just trying to be a bit disruptive.

W: Oh well there’s a new word, what’s that mean?

Me: It’s become a social media buzz word which means a site does unusual stuff to attract attention. Disruptive used to be a bad thing, like a naughty kid in class, now it’s a good thing.

W: You mean like good and bad cholesterol?

Me: not really.

W: Well if putting numbers upside down on a watch is good disruptive, give me bad disruptive any day.

Me: So what do you want to do about the cheap Rolex replica watches?

W: Take it back.

Me: Really, you want to send it back?

W: Well you like it, you have it.

Me: I can’t afford it.

W: Well rent it off me. You should rent everything. Never buy a car. Rent it, no insurance or tax to worry about, if you get into a scrape just take it back.

Me: Ah, so if I scrape the Rolex you’ll take it back?

W: Nah, you can bloody well fix it yourself.

Me: So how much rent do you want?

W: $10 a week

Me: Bargain! But what will you do?

W: Well you’re the expert, get on to Rolex and tell them to stop taking the piss and give me right way up English numerals please, and none of this Rhodium crap. I want steel and gold. Doesn’t matter where you are, people understand gold. Who understands Rhodium? It’s rubbish.

Me: But it’s one of the most precious metals…

W: Not to me it’s not. Rolex are trying too hard, see. They’re not being disruptive, they’re being destructive. Look at the US dollar…

Me: The US dollar?

W: Yeah, they’ve barely changed in a hundred years and we still can’t get enough of ‘em…